Growth

As I have mentioned before in my posts , Alex had a friend, a classmate , that took his own life this past Decemeber. When his funeral and viewing were taking place, Alex refused to go. I didn't push . I made sure we talked about it, he attended some counseling sessions to help him make sense of what happened. I was never sure that I had made the right decision to not take Alex to the viewing and funeral. Tonight , on the way to bowling leagues , Alex said he would like to visit the cemetary his friend has been buried in. We agreed after his league that we would stop and look for his burial. After a little searching we came across a beautiful white cross with his friends name etched in it, surrounded by flowers , a baseball, an actual picture, and an angel holding a marker next to a soccer ball. The note said "all who visit please sign the ball" . There were no words needed from Alex, I saw every emotion he had kept inside for so long cross his face, he held the soccer ball, studied the baseball, read and reread the poem on the cross and writings on the ball, he wept from the depths of his soul . Quietly he said goodbye to his friend, on his own terms , in the privacy of a wooded cemetary , he signed the ball with shaking hands , promising to bring back the guitar magazine his friend had wanted to borrow only days before his freinds death. Tonight I saw Alex grow in unmeasurable depths of character, loyalty, compassion and spirituality. It was without doubt the most touching , soul wrenching experience in my 15 years of motherhood.