A New Year

Well its so long to 2010 . I want to wash it, scrub it, delete it, from my memory! There is just something about a new year, it conjures up hope, it breathes new life in me. I can't say why, and maybe that perception is silly but at some point I need a reboot button and the new year seems to be it. I can't help but to wonder what this year will bring. Its overwhelming, promising, full of wonderment.
Stay tuned... 2011 should be a ride!

Snow Globe

That's how my life feels right now. Like a snow globe. I'm one of those little plastic people trapped in a little world. Sometimes I wander up, tap on the glass and declare "It's time to get the heck out of here."
I'm suppose to be uber confident in this huge leap of faith and instead I find myself hanging out in my snow globe,where occasionally someone picks me up and shakes me. Snow globes are volatile. You put yourself on a shelf- available for the shaking. The rattling of the cage if you will.
Here's what I'm learning about life in the snow globe. It's largely about Faith. Faith in the prayers you've said that haven't been answered. Faith in the people who surround you in your little world and Faith that at some point, you'll get yourself out of the globe.. and everything and everyone will stop shaking. Life will be peaceful again. Until then though, and here's the hard part, you have to have Faith that you're in the right hands.

Lessons

Having taken a sizable pay cut when Doug left Luk, it was certainly eye opening to see the lifestyle we were used to, just disappear. Probably the hardest was seeing the boys struggle to accept our circumstances. I am still struggling. 2010 hasn't been easy, not even a little bit. Its certainly easy to tell who your real friends are when you hit hard times. I don't suppose it was a secret about our situation, I seem to wear my emotions on my sleeve. This year has been choc full of battles. We have fought with insurance companies, pharmaceuticals,Luk,letting go of our home, downsizing vehicles, giving up whatever material object necessary. This year turned up more medical problems with Alex than you can shake a stick at. Alex turned 16 and realized he wasn't getting his drivers license. This family has dealt with every emotion known to man. I am exhausted.
The wonderfulness of this , is that situations like this really bring you to your knees. Every negative I just mentioned can be justified with a positive. Its silly to get so involved in the negatives. What I appreciate the most is the giving nature of some people. Not even in the most obvious. Its the friends who saw that we were battling the drivers license and maybe we didn't need to hear that their son/daughter had passed the exam that day. The friends who just comforted us.
The people that are enjoying a prosperous season and building homes , buying cars, and traveling but recognize the struggle with us and ask how we are and truly care.I don't mean to sound rude but when Alex is in the hospital, I probably don't care about the kitchen cabinets your thinking of buying. To every time there is a season, although it may seem like a drought , my heart is full and I'm learning more each day about WHAT is important and WHO is important.