Changes

I haven't been posting much lately, seems as though everyday has a new set of changes, a new challenge for me to figure out.Emotionally and mentally speaking I'm pretty sure the last week has handed me situations that have made me question everything that seemed good & stable .
What I can say is that, it has made me slow my pace , think about my life, my relationships with family, and friends. Who I need to be, want to be, and what I'm not.
Lately I've felt as if I'm just existing, going through the motions , treading water, just keeping my head above the waves. Until this week, the waves pounded at my heart, at my body, at my mind. Daring me to let it get the best of me. After the initial surge , I felt as if my eyes had been cleared , if even for a moment. It was clearer then ever who I didn't want to become, that I need to give the boys the wings they need to fly. Its been a battlefield inside my head, but I'm feeling better about the direction things are headed. Its never easy for me to see my friends & family struggle, or their heartaches, but it stirred something deep inside me that had been dormant for a very long time. Maybe one day I will have the right words to say in their time of need, maybe I will know exactly what to do to help .....