The last couple of weeks have been a complete whirlwind . We've had 5 baseball games a week between Aaron and Andy. Andy's team is doing fantastic! They are 8-0 and he has not struck out thus far this season. Wahoo! Aaron's little team is so darn cute, but they have only won 1 game, they seem to be up against some tough competition this year. Beyond the whole realm of "baseball world" which yes, life does exist outside that. We have been readying for vacation, working in the yard , trying to catch up on all those projects warm weather brings on. I've come to accept that I am not super mom , I can't do it all, and that's OK. Alex is doing remarkably well this baseball season, he doesn't play the sport. His neurologist says no. However this is the first year we have not had complete and utter meltdowns from him on not being able to play. I'm sure I've said it before but I'm going to say it again. Its heart wrenching and completely by far the most painful feeling in the world to have him sit at his brothers games watching , knowing how much he wants to play and saying no. On the upside, Alex's summer bowling league started up and right out of the gate be busted his record into splinters! He has so much drive and passion for what he is limited in participating in. Frustrating.
On another note, I was reading through someones blog -- randomly-- no one I know . Who also had a son with epilepsy and cured the seizures with the ketogenic diet. I think that's wonderful , but my beef is the way the blog was written made it seem as if having epilepsy was some sort of punishment from God. Alex also read this blog and it stirred up many emotions from him I didn't even know where there. He demanded to know why God would punish him , that obviously the God I have presented as a parent , that he has learned about , that he prays to , would not punish him with seizures. Life is inexplicable sometimes, why do some people have illnesses that others don't? That blog really buttered my biscuits. I've been stewing over it for days now. I know its time to let it go, I guess its my first time getting caught up in "blog drama" , and a heads up that what I write , and write about doesn't stop at my screen , that people could perceive what I'm writing as the opposite of what I'm truly conveying.
Also in the last few weeks Alex was diagnosed with Aspergers , I'm still learning what that means, all I know is that --things finally make sense --yes I have put him on more medication , that was a struggle for me, but we are seeing many positive changes, he is really enjoying being him . Someday I could write a book on the life of Alex Adkins. He is far beyond his almost 15 year old age. Oddly, Yahoo had a front page article this past week on how epilepsy and aspergers share a common gene, and the two often travel hand in hand. Of course this information would have helped years ago but right now its time to heal and to embrace whatever God has planned for each of us, move on , and live life.
1 comment:
I think it's so sad when anyone has to go through what your son is going through, and my heart goes out to your entire family. I think half the battle with these sorts of things is often just being able to put a name to whatever problems someone who suffers with any sort of illness are facing. I think your son is lucky to have a mother like you, you love your family so much, and noone is really the perfect mother, but you are a loving and compassionate person. Hugs to you JoAnn!
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