Monday, November 14, 2011

These are my hands...

I sure hope I'm not jinxing him, but Alex is still seizure free. Its rather puzzling how the medication cocktail works. Just as quickly as the seizures appeared at age 4,they have disappeared... for now.
So this , really strange 2 months of seizure free life is peculiar. I have that feeling that Ricky Bobby had from Talledega Nights " these are hands.. uh I'm not sure what to do with them " and that's no exaggeration. Our routine, our day,every minute was planned around the looming next seizure.
I've always had this habit of thinking "if only Alex's seizures would go away, everything else would fall into place " ... that couldn't be further from the truth. When the focus came off the seizures, things that had been pushed under the rug came raging out. All the things that seemed to tiny, minute and pointless had the dust blown off and the ugly truth revealed. Relationships that sat stagnant for so long were awkward, even the simplest day seemed overwhelming. Suddenly Andy and Aaron had a brother who plays soccer & goes to school. I can't possibly describe the emotions. Not a single one of us knows how to act/react. Now the focus has shifted and I'm not sure I'm comfortable. I didn't know that being so overwhelmed with gratitude would bring along this tidal wave of emotion.

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