Hanging On

It all started with glance in the rear view mirror and the sight of a fresh patch of gray hair. It hit me , lately I feel I'm hanging on to that one shred of frayed rope , just waiting for the next crisis to solve, the other shoe to drop, or the next fire to put out. I can't imagine its normal to feel this overwhelmed, this buried, this exhausted. Some days I stare in the mirror and don't even know who is staring back at me. I vaguely remember getting the younger boys dressed , packed and off to school, I vaguely remember waking up Alex , dispensing his meds , getting him set for a day of online classes. Vaguely. I'm embarrassed to say how much effort it takes for me to function some days. I can't face another mountain of laundry taller then me, can't face all the unfinished projects around the house, or helping with one more homework assignment. I am burned out. I can't pinpoint where it all went south. I just know I'm definitely in the southern hemisphere somewhere close to the south pole.