Pieces of me

Maybe its the dawn of a new school year looming in front of us, or absence that brings about new realizations. Its yet another signal that the boys have grown , and time is marching on. I look at my boys and wonder if I've instilled the right values, if I've given them enough that they will have wings to fly. Have I been a positive influence ? have I made the right choices? I always wonder what shines through when I'm not around. Are they kind ? respectful of themselves and others? what part of me have I planted into their being? I notice their friends and characteristics that I see shining through from the parental units , or in some cases lack of parental units. I see parents completely oblivious to what their kids are doing outside of parental presence and wonder ... am I one of those? am I missing the big picture? Someone at work made the comment to me that I was "one" of those moms... the kind that checked her kids myspace page and flipped through text messages . It wasn't said in a positive tone, but that's ok. I don't feel shame that I check on what my teenager is up to. It goes without saying that I started having kids much younger than I should have, so many mistakes, so many bad choices. Now I feel the urgency to know that despite all of that , I will have raised 3 young men who know what love, compassion, and joy feels like. Only time will tell what piece of me they've taken with them, I'm still learning, still stumbling, still praying.