Meet Sheba

Meet Sheba... the newest addition to our dog farm ;o) She is a lab mix.. and so mischievous! We are teaching her to look over Alex and hopefully train her to alert us when he has a night seizure.

Chaos it is!

Ahh where does the weekend go?! here it is, Sunday evening already. Andy and Aaron have been gone a total of 10 days and it feels like triple that. I'm ready for them to be home and get back into the routine ( if there is such a thing ). As it stands right now, they are in Texas for the night. The 10 days they have been gone have been insane. In that short time period here is a brief list of things that happened

1. Our dog Lucky just literally fell over dead ( thank you gas station man for coming and digging a hole in the frozen tundra to bury him )
2. My sister has Pnuemonia
3. Alex has greatly increased seizure activity.
4. My friend had emergency surgery that I won't get into but was serious stuff!
5. Another friend fell and shattered her foot!
6. And yet another friend is dealing with so much family stress that my heart is just breaking for her.
7. Dougs jeep won't start
8. I tore the whole exhaust off of my Expedition... I actually like the deep growl it has now..not so much the Po-Po stalking me for sound violations.
9. I managed to get into a tremendous argument with the secretary at the elementary school.. ugh...
10. SNOW-- need I say more?!

Really I could go on and on... about losing my keys only to find them in the ignition, having the most difficult professor on the face of this earth, blah-blah-blah. On the flip side, I do have a fabulous bunch of friends that really look after me and make me laugh when it feels impossible.

Today we also decided to go back to church, it was with a gentle nudge that another mom , who recognized my struggles , suggested we go back together. That is exactly what it took for me to recognize that God has taken me to my knee's. The more I try to fix things the crazier I seem to make them. I'm not going to get all religious on my blog , I don't believe in cramming religion down someones throat. It's certainly a decision I'm glad I made and one that I think everyone in the family will benefit from . So here is to another chaotic week here in the burbs!

Wallowing

With all the snow, and just plain nasty weather I've found myself wallowing. Well at least I'll blame it on the weather. I'm angry at myself for letting me play pity party for poor me. How selfish and downright silly. I have so much to be thankful for , to look forward to, and be excited about. Something though has gotten a choke hold on my mind and I've been wallowing in self pity, self doubt and self absorption. I wish the grass didn't always look so much greener on the other side. From experience , I've crossed the fence to the other side and only found briar's . I can get so caught up in the "now" and instant gratification that its like putting blinders on a horse. Interestingly enough as I walked into work today the first song on the sound system was a Garth Brooks song, Unanswered Prayers. Hmm... how fitting for me and my mood this last month. I'm so easy to say I want, I want , I want without saying what can I give , what can I do to help? I'm not normally this self involved , so this whole mood change has really thrown me, I almost blamed it on menopause...but realistically its just me wallowing in my own mud. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be in the mud.. seems like the harder I work towards getting out , the deeper it drags me in. I'm hoping for a beautiful sunny day that will help me get up and out of the drudge , after all I really have other things to do but whine.

Matisyahu- One Day