Letting Go!

After writing my last post, I felt as though I had really scratched the surface of something. I'm not sure I can even put it into words just yet. Maybe it was a realization that I really can't do it all. I would like to say that I cook my family meals from scratch, milk my own cows, kill my own meat,home school my kids, work full time, always give my boys the attention they need, that I don't ever raise my voice and say ridiculous things in the heat of the moment, I would like to have the laundry caught up and put away, I'd even settle for having clothes that match! The list could go on and on. The reality of it is, I don't want to kill my meat, I don't necessarily like homeschooling Alex, scratch the cows, I can do without the morning , evening milking. I have to ask myself why it matters so much , why would I want to do it all? where did I get the ridiculous idea that I need to do it all to be a successful parent, or adult? The truth of it is, I don't think I would last long being a stay at home mom with my kids all school aged. I feed my kids macaroni and cheese from a box, frozen pizza's, taco's, heck there are nights a bowl of cereal and toast is dinner. That's not to say I'm completely inept at cooking, but I'm ok knowing that I am not Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart. I like my house to be lived in , dog hair and all. I want to hear laughter, to relax, I don't mind making the dishes wait so I can grab a few minutes playing the Wii with the boys. This will all be gone way to fast , and I am fretting about not being able to do it all. We are never promised another day, and I could never forgive myself If I wasted even one more day waiting for the next problem or having feelings of inequality. Somehow its incredibly liberating to let go of those expectations. Whats wrong with just being authentic to oneself?!